I'm a Mom

I didn't feel like a mom the day that Dori was born, and I didn't feel like a mom after 1 or 2 or 3 weeks. And 2 months later, I still don't think I know exactly what it means to be a mom. I'm learning though!
I love this little baby to pieces, so when I'm already exhausted and she needs my attention anyway, I give it to her and tell her I love her. When I have a bad night's sleep and I just want to keep us both in our jammies all day, I smile at her and get her in the tub anyway and tell her how pretty she is. When I wake up grumpy, I think to myself "your baby wants a happy mom, so smile at her when she wakes up." Its a hard thing to do, but she makes me so happy! I love her cuddles and her wiggles, and I love when she stops drinking her bottle half way through to smile at me for no reason! I hate that I have been sick with a nasty cough for the past 5 weeks, but I'm thrilled that it was me and not her!

So bit by bit....I'm learning. And I'm loving it!

One Month

This last month has been quite the rollercoaster ride! Nobody could have ever prepared me enough for what comes after having a baby. Unless you've experienced it yourself, I don't think anyone can truly know what giving birth does to a person physically and emotionally. Luckily, I have the best family and friends that have really helped me out with the challenges I was faced with when I brought Dori home from the hospital. I can't thank everyone enough for helping me get through this last month and for helping me out with this gorgeous little stinker! She truly is a little angel!She'll only sleep for about 4 hours at a time but since we're only feeding her formula, Gary has really been helping me out in the sleep department! My house is more cluttered than I'm used to and there is constantly a pile of laundry to be done, but I'm learning to get used to the fact that sometimes a shower and sleep is more important than a perfectly clean house. It's amazing the kind of mess one little baby girl can create! It's a good thing I love her so much!

Welcome Baby Girl!

Dori Olive Fifield

Born October 28th, 2011

12:15 AM

6 lbs 10 oz

19" long

Just the Two of Us - No More!

I have never been a fan of maternity pictures. I can understand why people would want them, but it's never been my style. All I have wanted was a nice picture of Gary and I when I'm about to pop, and that's it!

I am just 1 day shy of a full 40 weeks, but if this little girl doesn't come on her own then she'll be born on Halloween Day! That's just 1 week away! So no matter how the week goes, we'll be parents before we know it! Gary asks me everyday "when's the baby coming?" I feel like a mother already saying "I don't know, we just have to be patient." He's getting so anxious!

With it getting so close I realize that it's no longer going to be just the two of us anymore. We've had more than 3 years of being alone and doing whatever we have wanted to, and our world is about to be turned upside down! For the good that is. Luckily we have been able to do a lot of things and go a lot of places together that would have been really difficult to do with a child, so I think we can both agree that we had the time we needed to get our youthful wiggles out before being a little more grounded. Not to say that we're done with adventures by any means! We already have plans for the types of things we'll want to do and places we want to take Dori. We'll just be packing a diaper bag more often than our suitcases!

Lucky Duck

I've been thinking a lot lately about how incredibly lucky I have been the past 9 months. Of course I have had a bunch of sickness and pains and pure exhaustion, but that's the worst of it. Baby cakes and I haven't had to deal with any major health concerns at all. Apart from one ER trip in my 4th month for what I thought was appendicitis (turned out to be severe round ligament pain...ouch!) it has really be smooth sailing. Gary has one co-worker whose baby was born a still-born in the 7th month, and another co-worker whose baby was 6 week's early and spent a lot of time in the NICU. Then I have a cousin whose baby was born more than a month early who is still in the NICU. Needless to say, I'll take the nausea, and I'll take the exhaustion if it means keeping my baby cooking full term.

Of course with all of these sad stories I hear, I can't help but wonder that baby Dori will be born perfectly healthy or not. It's hard to think that I could possibly have anything less that an all-around perfect baby, but I know anything could happen. I have been really calm in this type of thinking though, because I know that if my baby was born with any concerns, that Heavenly Father must think very highly of me in order to give me the extra challenge. And then on the other hand, I could have the most angelic, perfectly healthy little girl and it would still be a challenge. So either way I'm glad that the Lord is trusting me with this baby, no matter who she is.

I'm also beyond lucky, and ridiculously spoiled rotten that I have a week left until I reach 40 weeks, and I don't NEED anything else to prepare me for this baby. I have some very incredible people in my life who have made sure that this little stinker will be clothed, safe, entertained, comfortable, and diapered. I couldn't ask for a more perfect way to wait for her to come around!

Time to Think

I'm so glad that I've been able to adjust to spending time at home before baby Dori comes around. I love that I've been able to spend everyday cleaning my house as though she'll notice when she gets here, and I love having the luxury right now of having the time to remember to read my scriptures every day. I love that I have a few seconds to think that my room would look nicer if I made the bed, and then actually making the bed. I'm so glad that I have the chance to work at home for a while, and that I have more time to get more school done. I love the fact that if I feel exhausted I can lay on the couch for an hour and take a nap. I hear that all these luxuries are going to be leaving me once the baby comes, so I'm taking advantage of every spare second I have. Being at home this much really gives me time to think about a bunch of things....well...everything!

For starters I wonder how I'm going to balance work and school and my calling and my baby, AND keep my house clean? I wonder how I'm going to have the energy to do this all everyday? I wonder if I'll be able to feel like I'm doing a good job at the end of the day? Will my scriptures get read again? Am I really not going to have time to shower? Am I really ready for this? Well, ready or not, here she comes. According the schedule she's due in 3 weeks. That's no time at all!

I'm so excited and even though I'm not sure how I'll fit it all in, I'm actually rather calm about it all. I have wanted this baby for so long that I have to forget about some of these things. And I'm really lucky because I know that she already has an army of people waiting to love her! Most of all I'm really lucky that I have Gary who I already know is going to be a better parent than me...nobody has to even try to convince me otherwise! The talk given in General Conference this weekend about how men can be good father's to their daughters, I thought "Oh good this will be really helpful to Gary!" But as I listened to the talk, I thought again "Wait, this is already describing everything that Gary is!" They said the most important thing a man could do to be a good father is to love his wife, and Gary by far exceeds those standards. I'm one lucky duck for sure!

Anyway, I'm in the final stretch now...here we go!

Welcome to the Nursery!

I am EXTREMELY picky about nursery sets and decorating. It takes a LOT for me to commit when it comes to decorating my house, so I'm actually always changing things up to make it the exact way I want. Once I found out I was having a girl, I immediately started searching for nursery ideas and themes because I knew it wouldn't be easy. I was having such a hard time that I considered just having my mom make it all for me so I could pick and choose everything....wow, what a nightmare from the get go! It would have cost just as much, if not more, and it was so stressful trying to even find the right fabric.

Luckily my sister in law found this bedroom set at Target while she was in town over the 4th of July, which is the same weekend it was all on sale!! The only problem was, it was for toddler bedding and even for a twin sized bed, not for cribs. However, my mom is a master seamstress and she was able to convert the quilt into a crib quilt, using the edges of the quilt as the crib bumper! Perfect! I couldn't be happier! Of course the best part is all the little woodland creatures!!

Isn't Hooty so cute in the crib? Which, by the way my mom and her sisters got me for my baby shower. They are so generous!

I have to mention the little picture below the shelf is just a paper plate. It was from my shower with my in-laws, and it was too cute not to make part of the room. It doesn't even look like a plate! Also, the lamp on the table was a birthday gift from my grandma when I was about 16 or so and never really knew what to do with it. It fits perfectly in here! The dresser is my old dresser from when I was really little, so this is just about the cheapest way to decorate a room!

The glider is a gift from my mother-in law which I sit in everyday, whether I'm working, doing school, or blogging. I love it! Pure comfort! Gary's aunt made the darling "D" pillow, and I made the ceiling decor out of tissue paper...again so cheap!

Other items to mention. The 2 owl money banks on the shelf are from my sister in law Marisa, the doll on the shelf is from my sister in law Hali, the little yellow cover on the dresser is from my sister Candice, it's a baby blanket with a little embroidered squirrel on it that used to be my nephews, and the little chipmunk on the dresser is from my sister and her girls. This room was definitely contributed to with lots of love! I'm excited to see her in here!

Staying at Home

I'm pretty much a stay at home mother to a cat right now. And that won't last long because Stewie is HISTORY!! We have been meaning to take him up to West Point to live with his grandparents for a couple of weeks now but haven't made it there yet. This Sunday for sure though!! So long you little jerk! He has attacked me one too many times, and I'm not waiting for him to do it to my baby when she's born. He sure has been taking his life of luxury for granted around here!

Anyway, I am finished with work this week. I have just one more day that I need to go in to finalize some training of the new girl, and for my boss to buy me lunch and send me away. It's so hard to make this change that I'm refusing to think about it too much and get upset. On one hand, I'm ready to be done, but on the other hand, I have been working full time for so long that I'm not sure how NOT to work full time.

I have 6 weeks left of pregnancy (allegedly), so why am I done working now? Well, that is because I have a TON to do before the baby gets here. I have been taking an online course all year and I want so badly to get it done before little baby cakes comes into the picture. It would be nice to not have the stress of school once she's here so I can focus more on her. Even though I have a crazy amount to do, it's hard to motivate myself. But it must be done!!!

Sigh.

Wish me luck!

Big Fat Changes

I tell you what, this growing tummy thing is freaking me out a little bit. As soon as I accept the fact that I have almost doubled in size, I seem to have tripled in size. I can't keep up with how much I'm expanding! I do have to say though that I have reached a point where I don't really care how big I am getting. If anyone could see what I eat in a day recently, they would wonder why I wasn't morbidly obese. But I'm enjoying it a lot because I know that once the baby comes I won't have the freedom to eat a Twix for breakfast...it will be oatmeal and grapefruit. I'm totally taking advantage of having an excuse to be large!

That being said, I have to say that I'm not a huge fan of the 3rd trimester. Eating is the only joy I really have lately. I'm way more tired than I have ever been, and the simplest tasks cause me to practically suffocate to death! Bending over has become nearly impossible. Twisting to put my seatbelt on is quite discouraging. And I saw my ankles at a size that downright scared me. I love that she's moving so much more than she ever has, but are the headbutts to my rib cage necessary?

As hard as it is, I do believe I'll miss pregnancy once she is here. I never thought I would say that but I'm actually enjoying it more as it goes by...even if it does suck.

My Odd Taste In Men

You will never hear me talk about how hot I think Brad Pitt is, or Matt Damon, or Leonardo DiCaprio, or anyone who is probably considered ridiculously good looking. I have an extremely odd taste when it comes to male actors. Prepare to mock me. And these are in no particular order by the way.

Will Ferrell. The attraction didn't start until Blades of Glory, and then after that I was hooked. Jermain Clemment. Flight of the Concords. He can sing, and say the most off the wall stuff without cracking up.

Liam Neeson. It's his voice! And his ability to kick everyone's butt in the movies! What a guy!

Harrison Ford....though I have to say here that I'm in love with Harrison Ford during his Indian Jones years and that's about it.

Russell Brand. His hair, his accent, and his wit. I love the British!

Jeff Bridges. The Dude. To me, this guy is all types of what it means to be a man. I realize he's old and stuff, but I don't care.

Of course, Gary is so much better looking than all these schmucks, and he makes me laugh harder too!