My Odd Taste In Men

You will never hear me talk about how hot I think Brad Pitt is, or Matt Damon, or Leonardo DiCaprio, or anyone who is probably considered ridiculously good looking. I have an extremely odd taste when it comes to male actors. Prepare to mock me. And these are in no particular order by the way.

Will Ferrell. The attraction didn't start until Blades of Glory, and then after that I was hooked. Jermain Clemment. Flight of the Concords. He can sing, and say the most off the wall stuff without cracking up.

Liam Neeson. It's his voice! And his ability to kick everyone's butt in the movies! What a guy!

Harrison Ford....though I have to say here that I'm in love with Harrison Ford during his Indian Jones years and that's about it.

Russell Brand. His hair, his accent, and his wit. I love the British!

Jeff Bridges. The Dude. To me, this guy is all types of what it means to be a man. I realize he's old and stuff, but I don't care.

Of course, Gary is so much better looking than all these schmucks, and he makes me laugh harder too!

10 Years

This last weekend was my 10-year high school reunion, and I didn't go. Why, you ask? Well there are a lot of reasons why I chose to skip it. While it would have been so good to see some of my really good friends from back then, I couldn't bring myself to go! Some of the worst things in my life happened during high school...not AT high school or with the people I went to school with, but I somehow associate it all in one group. There must be chapters of this sort of thing written in psychological textbooks that could maybe explain my thinking, but mostly I just wasn't ready to go back and face it all. Maybe I need another 10 years until I'm ready??

I do have some really great memories of high school though, don't get me wrong! And I had some amazing friends! The football games and late night Wendy's runs, the movie nights, the one on one deep conversations in parking lots, the severe crushes I had (that all ended up breaking my heart), learning to drive a stick shift, "fake" making out at stop lights, skipping classes to go hiking, passing notes....I really did have some good times here and there!! But I would never go back and do it again!

Priorities

I have reached the home stretch! 10 more weeks! (allegedly) I'm so excited I can barely stand myself!! Sometimes I walk into baby Dori's room and look in her closet at all the pink get-ups and can't wait to see her in them. We're pretty much prepared for the most part. I don't feel too concerned that we don't (or won't) have what we need for her. Right now things are calm when I think about her coming and I don't have a lot of anxiety...yet!

That being said, there sure is a lot of other things to think about right now. I'm swamped. Overwhelmed. Stressed. Exhausted. I can only imagine that the laundry list of things I have to do and take care of are only in preparation for what motherhood will be like. Trying to balance all of this now will seem like a cake walk once she comes. Then what?? Of course I won't be working full time anymore so that's one less thing to think about. And I'm giving myself a full 8 weeks, if I want them, to focus soley on the baby and nothing else.

With working 2 different jobs right now, a church calling, summer activities, school courses, preparing for a baby, family time, friends, etc... I'm spent for my time. I have had to calm myself down at the end of every day and say to myself "it's okay that I couldn't do it all today." There is nothing more I can do than to just keep going and hope it all fits in the next day. I have to tell myself that some is better than none, and the fact that I'm not giving up on any of it is sometimes good enough. What a challenge! I'm really lucky I have people who understand and are patient with me. I'm beyond lucky that Gary has been willing to make dinner the past few days.

Despite the chaos that is my life, I'm so happy and so excited!

Getting Fat

It's not easy watching myself expand everyday, and word on the street is I'm far from being done. In the beginning I was all about sticking to my workout routine and trying to eat healthy...mostly because it made me feel better when I would get nauseous, but also because I was frightened of getting fat. But then, all of a sudden healthy food lost its appeal, I'm getting a little too tired and uncomfortable to work out everyday, and sugar has become it's own food group again. Sigh. So here I grow. I went and tried some maternity clothes on last weekend and cried without buying anything, and then I went home and ate ice cream with Gary. It's actually really amusing to me that I'm going through all the things I have heard about so many times from other people. I guess I'm part of that club now right? And I guess I get to stay part of that club until a year after the baby is born and I'm trying to lose all the unwanted weight still. What a freakin' weird experience!

Pregnancy Loves Company

My good friend and old roommate Heidi and I are pregnant at the same time! Yay! She's 2 weeks ahead of me so she has been able to warn me of upcoming pregnancy experiences...good and bad. There are some differences with our pregnancies but for the most part we've been able to relate completely to eachother during this whole process. She is having a little boy and naming him Drew, and we're already playing matchmaker with him and baby Dori. We're sure it will be love at first sight! Andrew and Gary trying to fit in. Gary sure has that glow about him doesn't he?

Letter To My Baby

I'm just so excited...this was the only thing I could think of to do to contain my excitement for her!

Dear Baby Girl Dori,

We are so excited to meet you and to have you in our lives! I already love and adore you and know you'll be the sweetest little creature I'll ever encounter. I can't wait to give you big hugs and kisses and tell you over and over again how much I love you! You're daddy is going to be so in love with you, and I know you'll melt his heart the second he lays eyes on you. There are so many people who are excited to see you, and so many people who can't wait to love you. You'll never go one single day without feeling like the most precious human being on the planet.

I remember the day I found out I was pregnant with you. Before I took the pregnancy test, I decided to pray. For many months before I would be disappointed when I discovered yet again that I wasn't pregnant. This time, I felt like I needed to pray. I was driving home from work when I started, telling Heavenly Father that I would accept the outcome of the pregnancy test, that I would live my life as positively as I could, and that I wouldn't get discouraged if it was negative again. I went on to tell Him that I wanted to be a mother so badly, that I promised to take care of a little life if He ever chose to send me one. Who knew that the answer to my prayer was 5 minutes away!

I had planned so many different, creative ways that I could tell your daddy that you were coming, and I completely forgot all of them when I saw the 2nd pink line! I cried instantly and could barely believe what I was seeing! I was so excited that I couldn't contain it and I wanted the entire world to know!!! Your daddy was about to walk into one of his night classes when I called him to tell him the news. I was still crying and not in my right mind when I was telling him "we're having a baby!" I'm pretty sure he was in shock and didn't learn much in class that night....or many nights after that. He still got good grades at the end of the semester though. You must have been his good luck charm from the beginning!

One of the first things I'll tell you when you arrive is that you weren't very nice to me during pregnancy, but that you have a lifetime to make it up to me! I hope you'll be able to catch on to our sense of humor right away and that we can make each other laugh. I can't wait to hear your first little giggles and see your smiles every day. I hope your ready for one energetic dad that will twirl you all around, tickle you a lot, and wrestle you down just to hear you laugh! He loves to snuggle a lot too so you'll love it when you're tired and all you want to do is cuddle up to dad. You two are really going to be the best of friends, I'm already certain.

We've never been parents before, so I hope you'll be patient with us. It might get a little frustrating for all of us in the beginning when we try to figure each other out, but our intentions are good. We just want you to be a happy little baby! We'll do anything we can to keep you safe and healthy, and very loved. Try to remember that when I start crying because I'm so tired! And also remember that if you ever want any siblings, that you have to try your best to be good for us too!

We're doing all we can to get ready for you to come in 3 months, so we're very busy right now preparing for you! You're always on our mind however, and we're so excited for the day that we meet!

Love Mom

My Aunt Tami

Sometimes the light is so brightly shining in our face that we can't see the path ahead of us, but I guess that's why we have faith... to keep moving forward even though we don't know what's ahead. Eventually the path will veer off to the left or right just enough that the sunshine isn't directly in our eyes, and we can see everything so clearly. I was reminded of this on my drive to work this morning. It was raining like mad and so dark and dismal. I was on I-215, right where it stops going south and curves directly the the east. All of a sudden the sun made its way through the clouds and I was blinded by the light, and the shiny, wet pavement. I couldn't see anything ahead of me. Luckily I had driven this road so many times before and I wasn't scared. In fact it was the most beautiful view I had seen in a very long time. Maybe ever. I knew it was a sign of comfort from heaven, after a very tough weekend for my family.

My aunt Tami. How do I even describe this lady? I think back to when I was really little and just starting to have the capacity to hold on to a memory. Every Sunday my family and my cousins would all go to my grandma Bingham's house to visit, and all of us younger cousins would completely stop anything we were doing when aunt Tami pulled into the driveway. We adored her! She was so fun, so energetic, always had big hugs and kisses for us, always made us laugh...and we all wanted her attention!!! Nothing changed growing up. We still love when Tami comes around because she is literally the life of the party! There is always bound to be explosions of laughter when she is around, and I may recall a couple times that Granny didn't make it to the bathroom on time! Tami is just non-stop, energizer bunny on speed, happiest, funniest, all around time-of-your-life aunt. How could this happen to her??

Her doctors found a tumor which they removed on Saturday, but the surgeon told the family that it had been there for a long time. He couldn't say 100% that it was cancer, but with as much as he has seen in his career, he might as well have said he was 100% positive. What news to get about one of your favorite people. We don't know what is going to happen, and we don't get results back for another day or two. We don't know what course she will have to take with treatments, surgeries, etc, and we don't know what kind of rough road God will be taking her on. But, how great is it that when my mom called to tell me, that there were so many of our family members at the hospital. They all couldn't see her, but they were there with each other. I have such a great family.

Lots of prayers are going out for aunt Tami. If you have ever met her, heard me talk about her, or if you would ever pray for me over anything, please say a prayer for her and her 3 girls, and her husband. We all want to stay positive and keep our faith strong.